rethinking self esteem #6

I attended the graduation ceremony of the alternative program at my school. Seven students gave speeches. The unofficial theme was "I had no confidence."

I didn't like myself. 

I had no self esteem.

I thought I was a bad kid.

Speech after speech, they described learning to care about themselves before they could care about schoolwork and attendance. 

If you don't care about yourself, of course you don't care about grades or any future life prospects contingent upon those grades. 

This makes sense. If you don't care about yourself, you don't care what happens to you. 

Self esteem should be the star of the show and we treat it as if it's a bit player. 

How you feel about yourself is not a byproduct or a symptom of some larger issue or diagnosis.

It IS the issue.

Self esteem is the foundation upon which all mental health is built. 

  

It should have its own diagnosis.  

Self esteem deficiency 

I have been in this field long enough to know most people aren't good at recognizing their strengths. 

They don't like who they are.

They lack the confidence to try and fail. 

Their sense of self is entirely dependent on what others think of them.

We need a diagnosis to help people directly confront the real issue holding them back from being their real, true self.

Self esteem deficiency 

for information on individual therapy and feeling better about yourself, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking anxiety

A client has been working through multiple forms of anxiety/stress/fear/worry.

One of his triggers is thunderstorms and heavy rain.

What if the power goes out? What if it stays out for days? 

During a recent storm, it was raining with no end in sight.

Normally, his anxiety only ends when the rain stops.

Not this time.

He says he simply got tired of feeling anxious. 30 minutes was enough. He was not going to suffer through another storm, worrying for an unknown number of hours.

Instead of channeling his focus into multiple weather apps, he chose to move on with his life and resume regular activities. 

He called this anxiety fatigue.

He was tired of feeling anxious.

Tired of feeling physically exhausted from the worry.

Tired of missing out on life. 

So he chose to feel something else.    

And do something else.

And be something else. 

He's working on being the guy who lives his life because whatever happens, he has the confidence to deal with it.

That mindset is the blueprint he's using to tackle other fears and worries.

Having the confidence to face life's challenges.

He says he won't get tired of being that guy. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com