Most people set a goal for one reason: they want to be happy. Unfortunately, accomplishment does not guarantee happiness. No matter what your goal is, if you want to be happy there is only one goal that will get you there.
Enjoy the process.
If you want to feel better about yourself, you have to learn to enjoy the journey, not the destination. Let's look at the three pitfalls of goal setting and how focusing on the process helps you avoid all of them.
1. Goals create an all or nothing mindset. Focusing on the process is the exact opposite of all or nothing. Yes, you still have a goal to accomplish, but you aren't solely focused on whether or not you reach the finish line. Even if you don't reach your goal, you can still find countless reasons to feel good about the progress you did make.
2. We are never satisfied. Focusing on the process teaches us to look for all the little victories we experience on the way to our goal. It teaches us to recognize what we are doing, to give ourselves credit for it and to take pride in our efforts. In short, focusing on the process allows us to be happy with ourselves whether or not we accomplish our goal.
3. The goal itself doesn't necessarily make you happy. Happiness isn't automatic or guaranteed. You have to look for it. You have to acknowledge it. You have to make it happen. Focusing on the process teaches you to look for all the reasons you have to be happy.
You've set a goal. Now consider these two options.
a. You can delay your gratification, and you might experience a fleeting moment of happiness at some time in the unforeseeable future. A day. A month. A year from now, you might be happy but only when you accomplish your goal.
b. You can be happy every step of the way. Even if you don't reach your goal, you are focusing on the process and the hundreds of positive steps you are taking.
Which do you prefer?
If you're waiting for the end to find your happiness, you'll be doing exactly that...waiting. If you want to be happy, start right now.
For information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
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