rethinking men's issues #3

The situation with women's hockey has me thinking a lot about men and empathy.

Specifically, men and their lack of empathy.

The women's Olympic hockey team just concluded one of the most dominant performances in the history of sports.

Not just hockey.

Not just women's hockey.

Sports. Period.

They played seven games against the best teams in the world.

They averaged almost 5 goals a game. 

They allowed two total goals in seven victories. TWO GOALS!!!

If an NHL goalie allows 2 goals per game, he's an all-star and an MVP candidate.

The women allowed 1 goal every 3.5 games.

And what do they get for their effort?

Men's hockey, come to the White House, and I guess your annoying little sister can tag along.

Ha ha he he. It's just a joke, girls. Relax.

If men had been so deliberately insulted, they would have stormed the capital wearing their Wayne Gretzky jerseys.

Because we're men. We don't tolerate that kind of disrespect.

I want to be crystal clear on one point.

I'm not defending women.

They just won a gold freaking medal in dominant fashion.

They don't need me for protection.

Men, this is about us.

We need to admit that we are the reason women are sick of us.

Our unwillingness to understand others is our shortcoming.

Our unwillingness to really listen to what our wives and sisters and mothers and daughters are telling us is our problem.  

We can no longer blame women because it was just a joke and you girls should lighten up.

Men, if I've said anything that offends you or rubs you the wrong way...

try smiling more.




for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking men's issues #2

A client said he struggled with expressing "bad" emotions. 

He's not the first man to tell me this.

Sadness, fear and anxiety have the worst reputation.

Men think these emotions make them soft. 

Weak.

Vulnerable.

I encouraged my client to rethink his relationship with his emotions.

Because as long as he thinks they're bad, he'll do everything he can to avoid them.

And as "bad" as emotions are, his way of dealing with them is even worse.

In reality, emotions are the same as everything else in our lives.

They aren't good or bad. It all depends on how we use them.

If you drown your sadness in alcohol, the sadness is still neutral but your actions are harmful.

If you turn your sadness into music or a painting, the sadness is still neutral, but now you have created something beautiful.

Same emotion. Different response.

Men, please reconsider your relationship with your emotions.

They are as neutral as a hammer or a screwdriver.

What you do with them is up to you.

For information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com