Respect is overused and misunderstood. We have reduced a noble goal into a festering dung pile. Forget about respect. Aim for courtesy.
I’ve spent a decade working with angry teenagers. If I had a nickel for every time I heard the “if you don’t respect me I won’t respect you” rant, I’d retire and sail the world on my own cruise ship.
If I had another nickel for every time the adult responded with the “you have to respect them as a person” speech, I’d fly to Jupiter on my gold plated rocket ship. What’s the best way to ensure a teenager won’t respect you? Lecture them about having to respect you.
I don’t normally do this, but Webster’s Dictionary defines respect as, “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”
In order to truly respect someone, you have to get to know them, identify something they have done AND admire them for having done so. That is hard to do within the first 2 minutes of just having met someone.
Do you know what you can do in the first 2 minutes of meeting someone? Be courteous.
Do you know what you can do if your paths cross for only a brief moment, never to see them again? Be courteous.
Do you know what you can do if you disagree with them? Be courteous.
Do you know what you can do if you think someone is a babbling moron? Be courteous.
Do you know what you can do if someone thinks you are a babbling moron? Be courteous. Kill them with kindness.
And if you are courteous enough long enough, you know what will happen?
You will earn their respect.
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