rethinking self care

i want to destroy the notion that self care is all about spending money, collecting stuff and going places.

these self care activities are 100% free. self care shouldn't break the bank.

self care needs no equipment. you don't have to depend on anything but you.

self care is not place specific. you don't have to go anywhere to take care of you.

self care is not time sensitive. It is available 24-7. you do not have to wait to take care of you.

1. breathe. it relaxes your body and is the starting point for everything else in life.

2. relax your body. life is easier when you are relaxed.

3. rethink your situation. identify and reshape the negative thoughts causing your discomfort. 

4. give yourself credit for the things you do well. 

BONUS: these are the ONLY 4 coping skills! yes, coping skills are self care.

5. remind yourself you don't have to be perfect to be doing well. 

6. remind yourself you don’t have to know everything. 

7. stop trying to do what is right. do what is right FOR YOU. there is no universal right answer, and no matter what you do, someone is unhappy. don't let that someone be you.

8. learn to forgive yourself.

9. forgive others. holding a grudge is self careless. forgiveness is for you, not them. 

10. state things in the affirmative. you cannot do a negative!!! if you don't believe me, next time you go to a restaurant, tell them you don't want a hamburger.  

11. say no. good people can say no. saying yes to everything is self careless. the best thing you can do for others is to take care of yourself. 

12. be selfish sometimes. it's ok to put yourself first. being selfish is self care. find the balance.

13. appreciate small moments of self care. it would be great if we had that 4 hour block of time when we have nothing else to do. great, but not realistic. you can care for yourself a lot in 4 minutes.

14. appreciate who you are. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!!!

15. give yourself the praise you wish others would give you.

16. be nice to yourself (it's more than treats & trips),

17. be nice to yourself (it's more than treats & trips).

18. be nice to yourself (it's more than treats & trips).

19. know that self care is about being happier with who you are than with what you have.

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking self esteem #5

an actual conversation...

me: let's say you have a friend that moved halfway across the country to go to college in a place where they knew nobody. how would you describe that person?

client: adventurous. interesting. courageous.

me: you did that. you moved halfway across the country for college. have you ever described yourself as adventurous, interesting and courageous? 

client: no. 

if you want to improve your self esteem, see in yourself what you see in others. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com