Sunday, June 28, 2026

rethinking men's issues #11

Men, I know where a lot of you lose it every day.

Your inside doesn't match your outside. 

You work so hard to keep it contained, but the inside always wins. 

It always comes out, usually at the worst times and in the worst ways.

Here's an example. 

Your annoying boss/incompetent co-worker/idiot customer does something stupid to piss you all the way off.

You can't blow up at work because you need your job.

You keep your cool on the outside.

Yes sir...no ma'am...we can just...I understand...not a problem...happens all the time...

On the inside you are a volcano of anger, bubbling to tell the idiot exactly how stupid they are. 

The inside doesn't match the outside.

You go home. Your spouse/kids/roommate says something, and before you know it you are exploding on someone who didn't cause and doesn't deserve your anger. 

The inside doesn't match the outside. 

Staying calm on the outside and raging on the inside is like washing and waxing your car every week but never changing the oil. Inevitably, that engine is going to blow up somewhere on the interstate about 100 miles from the nearest mechanic. 

It doesn't matter how much time and energy you spend keeping it all locked up.

If the inside doesn't match the outside, you are screwed.

Because the inside always wins.

Come back next week and we'll talk about how to bring those two into alignment. 



For information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

Sunday, June 14, 2026

rethinking men's issues #10

Be a man.
 
Be manly. Do manly things.

That's the goal so many men are shooting for.

We have this image of ourselves as the independent cowboy blazing trails of testosterone across the plains.

Nothing could be further from the truth. 

In reality, we do what we do in the name of manhood based on the centuries of men who came before us.

Are you the first man in history who thinks it's manly to drink a beer? 

Or bench press 250 pounds?

Or never show fear?

Never admit defeat? 

Never ask for help?

Every day, men make decisions they know are mentally, physically and emotionally harmful to themselves, all because I'm a man and that's what men do!

Luckily, there's a simple solution.

YOU GET TO DEFINE WHAT MANHOOD MEANS TO YOU!!!

Stop taking your manhood cues from pirates, gangsters and cowboys who lived by different rules in different eras. 

Be your own man. 

Do what makes sense to you.

Do what feels right for you.

Isn't that what a real man would do?



for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com