rethinking men's issues #12

Men, we have established that if your inside doesn't match your outside, you are screwed. Emotions overflow. You fall apart. Bad things happen. 

Your inside always wins.

No matter how hard you try to ignore it, your inside always comes out, at the worst time and in the worst way.

How can we bring these two mortal rivals into alignment? Make them see eye to eye? 

The answer is simple AND something men struggle to do. 

Be nice to yourself. 

Don't leave. Let me explain. 

Think back to the example from my previous post. You're angry at work, but you hold it in...until you get home and explode on whoever you live with.

You're calm on the outside, but the inside is all the angry thoughts.

They're taking advantage of me.

This idiot needs to know how stupid they are. 

I feel week and I look soft. 

What if you told yourself something more complimentary and supportive?

I handled that well. 

I avoided another meeting in my boss's office.

That was impressive. I'm pretty good at my job.

This staying calm thing actually feels better than getting angry.

Stop sabotaging your own success with the thoughts of revenge and anger.

If you are doing well, acknowledge it.

Tell yourself all the nice things you wish others would tell you.

Let the inside match the outside.

Be nice to yourself. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com