rethinking appreciation #5

good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

i've started a new practice.

when i eat in a restaurant, sit down, fast food or otherwise, i tell the staff, "thanks for breakfast/lunch/dinner." 

i want them to know i appreciate what they have done for me. 

because when i eat out, it's not just about that meal.

it means i don't have to do meal planning.

or go shopping for the groceries.

or cook my own food.

or clean my own dishes.

that's a lot of time and effort i can use for other activities. 

i appreciate the luxury of eating a meal without everything that goes into making it happen. 

sometimes i like going to the grocery store.

sometimes i like to cook.

sometimes i just want to eat. 

and i appreciate that there are people who allow me the pleasure of simply sitting down and enjoying a meal. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #4

good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

as a mental health professional, the question I am asked most often is "how do I...?"

how do I develop confidence?

how do I calm myself down when i'm angry?

how do I think more positively?

how do I develop a greater appreciation for life?

there are a lot of ways to exercise your appreciation muscles. today we are going to focus on one.

wherever you are right now, look around and pick one object. now ask yourself:   

what would the world be like without __________?"

notice how I said "the world" instead of "my world."

of course you can appreciate what you have, but this is bigger than that.   

appreciation is about developing an awareness of life beyond what impacts you directly.

it opens you up to look for opportunities to appreciate. 

and learning to appreciate the world is the same as any other skill you possess; the more you do it, the better you get. 

what would the world be like without garbage cans?

or the American jury system?

or stop signs? 

you always find what you are looking for, and if you are looking for a reason to appreciate something, and for something to appreciate, you will find it. 

for information on individual counseling, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #3

good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

i am a proud simpleton. less is more, and the simplest solution is the best one (occam's razor).  

the stop sign really scratches my simpleton itch.

it's been an octagon since the 1920's.

it's been red since the 1950's.

even if someone can't read, they still recognize it.

when stop lights malfunction, what happens?

road crews drag out good old fashioned stop signs and plop them in the intersections.

a no-tech piece of sheet metal on a pole has saved literally billions of lives.

it's not a stretch to say the stop sign is the penicillin of road safety. 

just like our friend the garbage can, the stop sign is one of those things people would appreciate more often if it wasn't there.  

i appreciate simple solutions to complex problems. 

i appreciate the stop sign.

 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #2

i fully believe appreciation is the most important quality/characteristic/trait any of us can possess. good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

this week i had the opportunity to appreciate an experience most Americans dread and try to avoid.

jury duty. 

that's right. I appreciate jury duty.

even thought I didn't get selected, I went through the interview process.

we've all seen courtroom dramas. this is the part that's not sexy enough to make it on the screen. this was a chance to look behind the curtain, see how court really operates. 

the system isn't perfect, and this isn't about that. for this case, the lawyers were invested in finding a diverse, qualified jury of the defendant's peers. I got the feeling that all involved were there to uphold the sanctity of the law. no ulterior motives. no radical political power play. it was refreshing to be reminded that court is more than a lurid den of ridiculously attractive snakes.  

and based on their answers, I believe the jurors were equally invested in the process of finding justice. 

it's asking a lot to have someone miss multiple days of their life, for $10 a day, and decide the fate of a person they don't know.

being on a jury is time consuming. it can be boring. it feels like splitting the same hair over and over, lawyers arguing the relevance of every letter and vocal inflection. 

but as I was sitting there, looking at the defendant, I knew that if I was in his position I would want a room full of people who were, to the best of their ability, trying to ensure that the system works. 

for all of its flaws, I appreciate our judicial system.

and I appreciate anyone who has ever served and taken their responsibility seriously. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #1

i fully believe appreciation is the most important quality/characteristic/trait any of us can possess. good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

have you ever thought about what our world would look like without garbage cans? 

It didn't occur to me until recently, which is weird because i've only used garbage cans multiple times a day for decades. better late than never. 

without garbage cans (trash cans, waste buckets, dumpsters etc...) our world would be countless piles of leaky, rotting, disease breeding, vermin huts. 

they improve our lives so much, and they are unabashedly low tech. if we did a cost benefit analysis of everyday objects, the humble trash can would be near the top of the list.  

even if it's a garbage can i'm not using, i still appreciate that it keeps neighborhoods clean for others.

in a perfect world, maybe we wouldn't need so many of them. 

this world isn't perfect, so i'm glad we have trash cans. 

and I appreciate the people who use them. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking your self image part 2

how can you change your self image? see a better version of yourself? 

you have learn to look at yourself differently. luckily you already have the tools to do that.

you have a critical eye and you notice details about yourself that others people don't see. 

you use it all the time to pick yourself apart and downplay your accomplishments. 

last week I told you i'd give you 2 tips to reshape your self image. here's the first one...

USE YOUR POWERS FOR GOOD!!!

instead of using your powers to drag yourself down, use them to lift yourself up.

every accomplishment in your life took dozens of small steps. stop fixating on the end goal and focus on all those steps. 

here's a tidbit most people overlook...or deny...or refuse to acknowledge. even your "failures" involve taking positive steps (more on this next week).

give yourself credit for what you are doing. start to see yourself as someone who can and is doing something productive and healthy.

if you want to feel better about yourself, think better about yourself. 

now for tip #2... 

ask yourself this question: do you want to be the person who drags yourself down or the person who picks yourself up?

be that person.

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking your self image

what is the most important factor in determining your behavior? 

age? 

gender? 

race? 

socio-economic status? 

where you live? 

where you were born? 

it is none of this. 

the most important factor in determining your behavior is your self image.

everything you do, or don't do, is a product of how you see yourself.  

furthermore, there is no separating how you see yourself and what you tell yourself/self talk/internal dialog/internal monologue (mental health professionals love to take old ideas and put them in new packaging, but that's a topic for a different day). 

if you want to feel better about yourself, you have to think better about yourself. 

next week, i'll give you two easy steps to help you see the real you. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com