rethinking appreciation #9

I appreciate any man who is man enough to cry.

and man enough to express their emotions.

too many men drink, do drugs and engage in obviously harmful activities, all in the name of ignoring their emotions.

if anyone can tell me how destroying yourself makes you stronger, please do so.

because I'm sick of hearing that emotions are for the weak.

and crying is for sissies. 

I'm tired of watching men silently suffer because toxic man culture has taught them that denying their emotions is somehow noble and manly. 

holding it all in weakens you.

you can't ignore your emotions forever. 

because the inside always wins.

it will always come rushing to the surface.

usually in the worst way, at the worst time.

facing your emotions takes strength and courage.

anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't have the strength or courage to face theirs.  

men, embrace all of your emotions.

not just anger. 

cry as much as you want. 

but don't cry like a baby.

cry like a man.

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #8

when I started this experiment, I was convinced that appreciation was the most important trait for good mental health. getting lost in the wonders of nature made me realize I was wrong. 

as I admired a cluster of wildflowers teeming with pollinators, my mind buzzed with questions.

how do the bees and butterflies find the flowers that have nectar? 

does the flower produce more nectar after the bees and butterflies sip from it?

how did this random patch of wildflowers magically pop up in one spot of my yard? 

and that's when it hit me.

before we can be appreciative, we have to be curious. 

we have to be willing to ask questions and look for answers.

curiosity is the main ingredient for all things mentally healthy.

before we can grow as people, we have to ask honest questions about ourselves. and we have to look for healthy answers.

we have to be open to the idea that other answers exist. 

beyond that, almost every major advancement in human civilization started with someone wondering what's on the other side. or how can I make this better. or is this possible. or simply what if. 

I believe there are 5 characteristics critical to good mental health: appreciation, humility, empathy and forgiveness. none of them happen without curiosity.  

we should continue to appreciate the world.

what we have.

what we do.

what others have and do.

but above all else, be curious. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #7

good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

last week as I waxed poetic about knees, I commented that I could pick a new body part each week to admire and appreciate. 

that got me thinking about my body. i won't stretch this out for the rest of the year, but i will present to you 9 things to appreciate about your body that you probably never thought of.

1. every step we take would be excruciating if we didn't have thick padding on the bottom of our feet.

2. we live in a more is more society. lucky for us, microapplemart can't introduce human body 2.0. we don't need extra knees where our shins are, or elbows at our forearms. we have all we need of both, and in the right location.

3. it's a good thing that skin is waterproof. 

4. and that it heals itself without needing a reminder to do so.

5. fingernails are our own swiss army knife. these handy scratchers and pokers are good for all kinds of tasks.  

6. eyelids protect our eyes and help us fall asleep, and they ask for nothing in return. 

7. instead of one long inflexible rod for a spine, we have 33 individual vertebrae. we're not boring traditional straw. we are fancy bendy straw. 

8. it makes total sense that our taste buds are on our tongue instead of the roof and floor of our mouth. 

9. other than a place to store lint, your belly button's sole function is to remind you that you started life INSIDE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!!! technically speaking, we all began as parasites. 

my body can't do what it used to do, and some would argue that even that wasn't very impressive. it's still an amazing creation. spend a few seconds today marveling at what your body does, mostly on its own, whether you are paying attention or not. 

and take care of your knees. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #6

good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

today is a cautionary tale. 

appreciate your knees and what they do for you, literally thousands of times a day. 

take care of your knees. 

because you're going to need them in the future. 

if you don't believe me, try these exercises. 

stand up and take 10 steps without bending your knees.

then pick something up off the ground without bending your knees. 

then sit on the ground and get up without bending your knees. 

how was that for you?

our knees are remarkable inventions, as is most of our body. 

maybe ear hair and ear lobes meant something to a different generation??? 

I could easily fill the rest of the year's posts by focusing on a different body part each week.

nobody ever thinks about the significance of peeing and pooping until they can't. 

or what life would look like with one less finger knuckle. 

or how tedious life would be if we had to remind ourselves to breathe, blink and sweat. 

think of your knees as the gateway to body appreciation.

because even if it's not what it used to be, your body still does amazing things every moment. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #5

good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

i've started a new practice.

when i eat in a restaurant, sit down, fast food or otherwise, i tell the staff, "thanks for breakfast/lunch/dinner." 

i want them to know i appreciate what they have done for me. 

because when i eat out, it's not just about that meal.

it means i don't have to do meal planning.

or go shopping for the groceries.

or cook my own food.

or clean my own dishes.

that's a lot of time and effort i can use for other activities. 

i appreciate the luxury of eating a meal without everything that goes into making it happen. 

sometimes i like going to the grocery store.

sometimes i like to cook.

sometimes i just want to eat. 

and i appreciate that there are people who allow me the pleasure of simply sitting down and enjoying a meal. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #4

good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

as a mental health professional, the question I am asked most often is "how do I...?"

how do I develop confidence?

how do I calm myself down when i'm angry?

how do I think more positively?

how do I develop a greater appreciation for life?

there are a lot of ways to exercise your appreciation muscles. today we are going to focus on one.

wherever you are right now, look around and pick one object. now ask yourself:   

what would the world be like without __________?"

notice how I said "the world" instead of "my world."

of course you can appreciate what you have, but this is bigger than that.   

appreciation is about developing an awareness of life beyond what impacts you directly.

it opens you up to look for opportunities to appreciate. 

and learning to appreciate the world is the same as any other skill you possess; the more you do it, the better you get. 

what would the world be like without garbage cans?

or the American jury system?

or stop signs? 

you always find what you are looking for, and if you are looking for a reason to appreciate something, and for something to appreciate, you will find it. 

for information on individual counseling, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking appreciation #3

good mental health starts with our ability to see value in places where other people aren't even looking. now through the end of the year, i'm challenging myself to find something new to appreciate every week.

i am a proud simpleton. less is more, and the simplest solution is the best one (occam's razor).  

the stop sign really scratches my simpleton itch.

it's been an octagon since the 1920's.

it's been red since the 1950's.

even if someone can't read, they still recognize it.

when stop lights malfunction, what happens?

road crews drag out good old fashioned stop signs and plop them in the intersections.

a no-tech piece of sheet metal on a pole has saved literally billions of lives.

it's not a stretch to say the stop sign is the penicillin of road safety. 

just like our friend the garbage can, the stop sign is one of those things people would appreciate more often if it wasn't there.  

i appreciate simple solutions to complex problems. 

i appreciate the stop sign.

 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com