I don't give a $h!T therapy

I always joked that I should pioneer “I don’t give a $h!T” therapy.

For the purpose of mass consumption, I will scale it back. My heart says stick with “I don’t give a $h!T” but my head says go with “I don’t care.”

So many of our problems stem from the fact that we care too much about things that don’t matter. I was reminded of this recently when my daughter decided to wear her pajamas to the grocery store. How does a 5 year old get away with the things that scare adults?

Because she doesn’t care.

She was excited to wear pajamas. Didn’t give a second of thought to what other people would say. She did what she wanted to do. Good for her.

It helps that she is amazingly adorable (I’m not biased) in pajamas. That doesn’t change the fact that she simply doesn’t care about all the stuff adults burden themselves with.

Pretend for a second that you, an adult, want to wear pajamas to the grocery.

People might look at me.

I don’t care.

People might laugh.

I don’t care.

People might think I’m crazy.

I don’t care.

People might judge me.

I don’t care.

I might see someone I know.

I don’t care.

You get yourself worked into a frenzy caring about all the stuff that doesn’t matter. STOP CARING!

I have to stop here and clarify. My daughter is not engaging in anything illegal, immoral or ethically blurry. If you are considering breaking laws or committing crimes against humanity, I strongly urge you to care.

If you want to do something that makes you happy, isn’t illegal and might be outside “the norm,” do it. Stop caring about the stupid stuff.

Or if it suits you better, don’t give a $h!T.

Do you have questions about a specific situation in your life? Topics you want addressed in future essays? Shoot me an email at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

For information on individual counseling, please contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

I’m an LPC and a writer. If you are a mental health professional and need creative consultation for your professional literature, write to me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

You are 6 blind men

There's a famous parable about 6 blind men and an elephant. Each man touches a different part of the elephant and comes away with a different impression.

The one who feels the leg thinks it's a tree.

The one who feels the belly thinks it's a wall.

The one who feels the trunk thinks it's a snake...and so on.

Every day, your life is just like touching that elephant. What you see depends on what you are looking at.

If you’re sitting in rush hour and all you see is traffic, you’re angry.

If all you see is your kids yelling at each other, you want to scream them silly.

If all you see is idiot co-workers ruining the workplace, you are ready to explode.

If I could modernize the parable, one blind man would suggest to the others that they all switch positions, so they would all get a different "view" of the elephant.

If you’re sitting in traffic and you see it as a few seconds to relax without being bothered, you’re calm.

If you see your kids yelling and see it as a teachable moment, you are feeling hopeful.

If you see yourself as the lone shining star in a very dark sky, you feel better about going to work tomorrow.

If you don't like what you see, switch your perspective. Find a new way to look at something. Feel a different part of your elephant.  

You are 6 blind men. Your life is the elephant. If you keep feeling the elephant's leg expecting something different, you will be disappointed. The elephant doesn’t care & is never going to change for you.

Do you have questions about a specific situation in your life? Topics you want addressed in future essays? Drop me an email at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

.

For information on individual counseling, please contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

I’m an LPC and a writer. If you are a mental health professional and need creative consultation for your professional literature, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com