Humility is a grossly misunderstood concept.
People falsely assume humility is self criticism focused entirely on their flaws. Or treating themselves like trash keeps them from becoming arrogant. Both are tragic thinking flaws.
How do we stay humble without sliding into full blown arrogance? Where does insecurity stop and humility start. How do we acknowledge our mistakes without drowning in the pit of self hate?
Here is a cheat sheet that separates humility, insecurity and arrogance.
If something goes wrong...
The insecure person blames themselves entirely. They don't learn a lesson. They don't forgive themselves.
The arrogant person blames everyone else because they are incapable of admitting their mistakes.
The humble person learns a lesson, forgives themselves and moves on with the knowledge to make it better next time.
The thread through all of this is confidence, or lack thereof.
Insecurity is a lack of confidence. You can't do anything right. You have no positive qualities. When things fall apart, so will you.
People mistake arrogance for confidence. In reality, arrogance is also a lack of confidence. The arrogant person lacks the strength to admit they messed up. Show me someone who is arrogant and I'll show you someone who is sad, afraid and extremely insecure.
You don't become arrogant through confidence. You get there through insecurity.
Humility takes confidence. You have to feel good about yourself to admit you're not perfect. Or that you tried and it didn't work out, but you're ok with it.
Being self critical does not make you better or stronger or more confident. It makes you beaten and dejected.
Confidence does not make you arrogant. It makes you humble.
Have the confidence to be humble.
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