Rethinking Nature Versus Nurture

It’s always been a two horse race: nature versus nurture.

This limited model of thinking does a great disservice to our clients. It sends a message that you are the way you are because of some combination of genetics and upbringing. It gives people a crutch, a reason to say, “I am who I am so don’t bother being more.” That is the opposite of empowering. If mental health professionals are to stay true to our mission of helping people lead fuller, happier lives, we need to give our clients a third option.

Nature versus Nurture versus New.

Yes, genetics play a part in who we are.

Yes, past experiences play a part in who we are.

However, if someone enters therapy thinking their fate is sealed because of their nature and their nurture, then counseling isn’t for them. For therapy and life to be successful, you have to believe you can control your situation and create the life you want.

You have to be willing to move beyond I was born that way...I’m just like my parents…It runs in my family…I will always be angry at them…You would be sad too if...

You have to believe something better is waiting for you. Something of your choosing. Something more than DNA and childhood. 

You have to believe in the new.

Nature versus nurture versus new.

My money is on the fresh legs.

Do you need help rethinking a situation in your life? Email me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

For information on anger management and individual counseling, contact me at

bradleyjabel@gmail.com

If you are a mental health professional and want creative consultation for your professional literature or Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

Rethinking everything happens for a reason

Everything happens for a reason. Everybody says it. Everybody is right. Now here is what everybody leaves out.

The reason doesn’t come instantly. It can takes days, weeks, even years for you to make sense of life. When you face a big situation, you are busy being angry, sad, elated, etc… You are too clouded by emotion to start a scavenger hunt for reason. That’s how it should be. You deserve to be angry, sad, elated, etc… Take your time finding the reason. It will wait for you.

The reason is personal. Your life has to make sense to you as you see it through your eyes, not someone’s perception of what they think you are going through. Think of a mass tragedy like a natural disaster. There’s no way one event can mean the same thing for all people involved. Humans experience the same event in unique ways.

You have to want to find a reason. This takes work. It's hard. It can hurt. It’s not magically dropping from the sky. Simple as that.

You always find what you are looking for. If you think the reason is because you deserve to be punished, then you will find evidence to support that. If you think the reason leads you to a better life, then you will find evidence to shine a light on the path.

What trauma have you faced? Is it a ton of bricks holding you back? Is it a rocket waiting to launch you forward?

Rethink your life.

Rethink your options. 

Rethink your reason.



Do you need help rethinking a situation in your life? Email me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

For information on anger management and individual counseling, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

If you are a mental health professional and want creative consultation for your professional literature or Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com