Rethinking Coping Skill

You are sad, angry, stressed, anxious, emotionally overwhelmed. What do you do? You might be surprised to know there are only 3 coping skills that enable you to successfully manage a stressful situation. Everything else you think is a coping skill is at best a diversion, at worst avoidance.

First, let's define coping skill. In it's most basic form, a coping skill is something we do to manage our emotional stress.

Let's add the missing piece. "In the moment."

A coping skill is something we do in the moment to manage our emotional stress.

"In the moment" is critical and, sadly, overlooked or left out entirely.

Running. Cooking. Shopping. Drinking. Listening to music. People think these activities are coping skills. For too long, the mental health profession has reinforced the notion that they are coping skills. Next week I'll explain exactly what is wrong with this. For now, let's look at the only 3 coping skills you need to manage those moments when you are emotionally compromised.

1. Breathe. Clients ask me all the time what they should do when they are stressed. Breathing is a thing to do! Think of it as resetting your system, the equivalent to restarting your computer when it's giving you problems. You're getting worked up? Take a deep breath and start over.     

2. Body awareness. Paying attention to your body is another thing to do. You can't take control of a situation until you take control of your body. Think of all the things your body does when you are emotionally charged. Fists clench. Shoulders shrug. Chest tightens. Face grimaces. It is impossible to think clearly when your body is doing things you don't want it to do. Take a breath and take inventory of your body. What's it doing and what do you need to do to regain control?

3. Rethink your situation. This is cognitive behavioral therapy in a nutshell. Every therapeutic model contains elements of CBT. No situation is good or bad. Our perception of that situation is what throws us into a panic. Remember TEA. Your Thoughts control your Emotions. Your Emotions control your Actions. Get your thoughts straight and everything else falls in line.

This isn't a linear checklist. However, if you want to develop body awareness, breathing is a great place to start. If you want to rethink your situation, it's going to be easier to do after you've taken that breath and gotten your body under control. It all works together.

Now you know the only 3 coping skills you need to effectively manage the moment. Next week, we will rethink everything else you think is a coping skill but really isn't.





For information on anger management and/or individual counseling, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

If you are a mental health professional and want creative consultation with your business literature or Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

Rethinking all of mental health

Every self help book...

Every mental health theory/treatment modality/behavior management system...

The entire field of mental health therapy and counseling...

Whether you are at the end of your rope & struggling to get out of bed or you are angry all the time...

Whether you are constantly beating yourself up or you feel like everyone else is...

It can all be boiled down to one question.

Are you willing to look at your life differently?




For information on anger management and individual counseling, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

If you are a mental health professional and want creative consultation on your business literature or Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

Rethinking stress and lemons

Stress is untapped opportunity. Don't believe me? Let's look at it in another, more familiar, way.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Stress is lemons. Life is going to bomb you with bushels of lemons.

Fortunately, your opportunity is lemonade. Grab some sugar & start squeezing.

The next time you are stressed & thinking all is lost, you can fixate on the negatives...or you can look for the opportunity & find a way to make it happen.

Even if the opportunity never fully materializes, you can at least take pride in knowing you tried.

Watered down lemonade is still better than sucking lemons.

Rethink your life. Rethink your options. Rethink Therapy.



Are you angry? Struggling? Stressed? If you need help making lemonade, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

If you are a mental health professional and want help upgrading your business literature or Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com