rethink the right thing to do

am i doing the right thing? 

it's one of the most frequently asked questions in therapy and life in general. 

life rarely breaks down into absolute right and wrong. ask 5 people what they would do in a tough situation, and you'll likely get 5 different answers. 

that is why doing the right thing isn't a realistic goal. it only sets you up for failure.

instead, ask yourself "is this the right thing for me?"

only you know your situation. only you know all the variables that went into making your decision. you even know what is best for you.   

life is hard enough without the burden of aspiring towards absolute morality. even if you do what you think is right, you'll find someone who questions your decision. you can't, and never will, do what is right for everyone. 

you've tried making everyone else happy. you know it almost always leaves you sad and frustrated.  

try a different approach. 

focus on doing what is right for you. 

if you do what is right for you, you will always be right. 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

Rethink Not Caring

I don't give a damn.

I don't give a shit.

I don't give a f$%k.

I don't give a rat's ass.

English is a colorful language. We have so many ways not to care about something. Not caring has immeasurable therapeutic value. If you say you don't care about the stuff that causes you stress, you have to do one more thing.

You have to mean it. 

You have to really stop giving a shit about the people and situations that give you grief.

You can say you don't care about something, but if you spend the next day, week or month complaining about it, you still care. Complaining = Caring. You act one way but feel the opposite. 

This is right in line with a fundamental therapeutic concept: your inside has to match your outside.

If you put on the mask and act all happy happy, but the inside is dark and brooding, you will struggle. When the inside and outside don't line up, you suffer. You can't ignore your inside forever. It always comes out, usually at the worst times and in the worst ways.

Go ahead and truly stop caring. 

Stop giving a shit, damn or f&%k about the things that bother you.

Stop caring on the inside and the outside. 

And really mean it. 

  

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com