Rethinking Self Care

I emphatically reject the notion that self care only happens in sacred spaces, at special times and with our essential possessions.   

Do you have 5 seconds to...

Compliment yourself? 

Take a deep breath? 

Stretch your legs?

Actually sip and savor whatever is in your mug?

All of this is self care. 

And it's free. 

You can do it anywhere, any time.

I'm sick of the materialistic dogma telling us self care requires piles of fancy gadgets. Self care is the leading cause of garage sales in America.  

Self care requires one thing: the willingness to take care of yourself.

If you can't find 5 seconds for self care, your problem is not lack of time and stuff. It's lack of trying. 

Stop thinking you have to wait to get home, or the gym, or the beach, to take care of yourself. And that it's hours or days away. Self care abstinence is not a noble endeavor. You aren't a martyr. Your suffering only hurts you. 

There is zero benefit or reason to delay taking care of yourself.

Make self care a normal part of your day, not some hallowed, time-sensitive celebration.  

Take care of yourself all day. 

Every day. 

Wherever you are. 

As many times as you need to. 

For information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

Rethink Being Nice To Yourself

Be nice to yourself, even when other people aren't. 

People don't want to hear this. It's discouraging. We want, need, expect our parents, significant others, co-workers to acknowledge us and tell us how great we are. It's frustrating when we don't get it. 

Fortunately, this is also entirely empowering. 

Being nice to yourself means you get to focus on you. This eliminates the burden of worrying about others. If you aren't getting juice from a turnip, then stop squeezing. 

However you want to phrase it, focusing on yourself is essential to good mental health. 

1. It's the serenity prayer: accept what you can't change (acknowledgement from others), the courage to change the stuff you can (positive self talk), and the wisdom to know the difference.

2. Practitioners of mindfulness have spent centuries encouraging us to turn inward, to focus on ourselves. Why? Because happiness doesn't come from spending 10 minutes a day thinking about the jerks who aren't paying attention to how amazing you are.

3. Me Time. 

4. You want wonky technical jargon? It's internal versus external locus of control. 

5. Confidence is key.

There is nothing in your DNA that prohibits you from being your own cheerleader. You choose to focus on what others don't give you instead of focusing on what you can give yourself.  

You choose to focus on what others don't give you instead of focusing on what you can give yourself.

Here's the best part. Unlike the excessive material dependence of self care, being nice to yourself doesn't cost a penny and doesn't require anything that will eventually collect dust in your basement. 

Be nice to yourself, even when other people aren't. 

Especially when other people aren't. 

For information on individual counseling, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com