Just ignore them.
This is the most overused and useless advice we give our kids. STOP TELLING KIDS TO IGNORE THEIR PROBLEMS!!! Ignoring someone is impossible, and I will prove it.
Imagine you are arguing with a friend/co-worker/significant other and you are angry to 11, quivering with rage. To show that person you are ignoring them, you turn your back to them.
Who are you thinking about?
That person.
And when you get up and leave, slamming the door behind you, who are you thinking about?
That person!
Then you scream, “I’m ignoring you!”
Directly addressing someone is the exact opposite of ignoring them.
You cannot ignore someone who is in your head. You can distract yourself, but what always happens? They come back every time. Sooner or later you have to deal with them. You have to replace the angry thoughts with something more productive.
Relax, this isn’t that big a deal.
I don’t want to do anything I will regret.
I’m better than this.
It’s only temporary.
You have to find a way to rethink the situation. Everything else is the mental equivalent of spraying air freshener over the pile of smelly clothes you refuse to wash. Drinking. Exercise. Eating. Shopping. Once those activities are over, the person that made you mad is still in your head.
Ignoring something is not an option for you. Stop thinking it’s an option for your kids. When you tell a kid to ignore their problem, you aren’t doing anything to help them deal with the situation or their anger in a constructive manner.
That is a fact that we as parents, mental health professionals and educators can no longer ignore.
For information on individual counseling, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
If you are a mental health professional and need creative consultation for your professional literature or Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
