I hear it from clients all day. I would rather help someone else than myself. I put others first. I don't do anything for me.
You should be more selfish. Put yourself first. Do for you.
Your world would be a better place if you were more selfish.
Imagine putting yourself first, taking care of your own needs in a healthy manner. If you did that, you'd be happier. You'd be emotionally stronger, more capable of dealing with stress. You would be more confident.
Being happy with yourself is helping others. When you are truly happy, you don't act in anger, greed, revenge. You don't gossip. You make better decisions. You are less inclined to do the stuff that muddies our collective waters. You make the world a better place by being selfish, not selfless.
The next reason is one you can use in the moment.
You're angry. You focus all your energy on the person who made you mad. That idiot ruins everything!!! Where does that get you? No place good. It only leads to more anger. You are focusing on the part of the conflict you cannot control...the other person.
Now be selfish. Focus on you. That's when you see your contributions to the conflict & the parts you can control. You can't do a thing to change their behavior, but you can change yours. That's progress. That's what selfish does.
One more.
What holds us back about 99% of the time from doing what we really want to do? We care about what others think. We are so worried that others will criticize & judge. We are trapped in fear and sadness. That wouldn't happen if you were selfish.
When you focus on their response, you hold back, then you hate yourself for holding back.
When you are selfish, your focus is on your effort. Focus on what you do & take pride in your accomplishments. And remember, there is no failure, only success and learning.
You want to learn to be happier?
Learn to be selfish.
For more information on anger management or individual counseling, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
For creative consultation with your professional literature or Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
