It's one thing to give bad advice. It takes it to a new level when your bad advice sets someone up for certain failure.
Just ignore them.
I hear staff say it to students. I hear parents say it to their kids. It drives me crazy every time. I will say this as politely as I can.
YOU CANNOT IGNORE SOMETHING THAT IS IN YOUR HEAD!!!
Once the person, place, thing or situation that is bothering you gets in your head, you are miles past the ignoring stage. Ignoring is an impossible task.
If you don't believe me, consider this. Someone named Jimmy is bothering you. Your friend says "Just ignore Jimmy." Can you really ignore the person you are talking about...who you are thinking about...whose name is ringing in your ears? It's impossible because you are thinking about ignoring them. Thinking about something is the exact opposite of ignoring.
What typically passes for ignoring is really just separating yourself from the annoying thing while continuing to brood over whatever upset you in the first place. Physical separation is not ignoring.
You still don't believe me. Try this. Ignore the purple elephant.
Ignoring has never worked and never will. Please stop telling people to ignore their problems. No one ever solved a problem by ignoring it.
We have to face our problems. We have to learn the cognitive skills to rethink a situation. We have to be able to look at life differently in order to achieve different results.
That's a fact we simply cannot ignore.
For information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
For creative consultation with your professional literature or Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
