Despite this, I understand that for some people, positive thinking is garbage. If they have faced unspeakable tragedy, the last thing they need or want is someone telling them to look on the bright side. That's insulting.
For years I struggled to reframe positive thinking without calling it positive thinking but still keeping the intention intact. Then one day, a client talked about his best worst thing.
The best worst thing.
That's what I've been looking for. Trauma is ugly. I don't expect anyone to sugarcoat tragedy or celebrate hardships. But it is important to be able to move forward in a healthy manner. The best worst thing allows you to do that.
The worst thing acknowledges that what happened to you sucked. Calling it the best worst allows you to find meaning in the suck. It lets you say, "Yes, things were horrible, but I can still salvage something from the rubble."
For my client, the loss of a significant relationship was his worst. However, it was his best worst because it forced him to examine behaviors he knew were problematic but never fully admitted. If it was just the worst, he would still be wallowing in despair. Instead, he made it the best worst because he was determined to turn it into a useful experience.
Without that loss, it's likely he would continue on with life making the same mistakes.
If positive thinking doesn't fit your situation, I get it. Some experiences are so painful that it's hard to see a silver lining or squeeze the lemonade.
If that's where you are, then find your best worst thing.
For information on anger management and individual counseling, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
If you are a mental health professional and want creative consultation with your business literature or Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
