A friend recently sent me an article on resilience. Without getting deep into the overly intellectual weeds, the gist was "how can we teach people to be resilient?"
This is 100% the wrong question. We don't have to teach people how to be resilient. We have to teach people they already are resilient. Not only are people resilient, they are everything they want to be. The problem is they don't see it.
I tell my clients my primary function is to help them see in themselves what I see in them. A shy student thinks she's only asking a teacher for help. I see her as assertive, meeting her needs and doing something for herself. I don't teach her how to be any of those things. I help her see what she already is.
You always find what you are looking for. If you look in the mirror and see a thousand failures, then you will feel like a failure. Every person reading this knows it to be true. The good news is it works the other way, too.
If someone recognizes they are brave or honest or resilient, they like that feeling and they want to be that thing again and again. Discover what you already are and be that more often.
Think about...
A time you were resilient.
A time you were brave.
A time you asserted yourself.
A time you were honest with yourself.
A time you were honest with someone else.
A time you were comfortable with yourself.
A time you were happy.
A time you were outgoing.
A time you took a chance.
A time you learned from your mistake
It's all there. Keep looking. You'll find it.
For information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
For creative consultation on your professional literature or your Psychology Today profile, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com
