rethinking self esteem #8

Tell me your strengths and positive qualities.

Believe it or not, this is the hardest question on my new client intake assessment.

I work primarily with teens and young adults.

They struggle to find anything good about themselves.

They can talk about their trauma.

Family chaos. 

Defective relationships.

Drug and alcohol use. 

They cannot tell me their strengths and positive qualities.

I even prompt them by saying "tell me who you are, not what you do."

Without direction, they would just rattle off a list of hobbies.

I play video games. I draw. I sing. I watch movies.

They know what they do. They do not know who they are.

It is extremely hard to feel good about yourself when you don't know who you are.

Self esteem is the foundation upon which all mental health sits.

All the skills in the world won't make a difference if you feel like you are never good enough. 

Caring about ourselves starts with our ability to identify and embrace our strengths and positive qualities.

Self esteem is not about what you do.

It is about who you are. 

Spend 30 seconds today thinking about who you are. 

Come back next week and I will illustrate exactly what that looks like.

For information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking self esteem #7

here is one tip guaranteed to improve your self esteem. but don't take my word for it. 

take it from every professional sports team on the planet. 

and every college team.

and most high school teams. 

what are highly skilled athletes doing that apply to everyday folk like us?

they review their game film.

they take the time to review their performance. between plays. after the game. in the days leading up to the next game.

they look to fix what went wrong, but more importantly they look for what went right.

and they look at what they did to make it right.  

we have to review our game film because it's hard to see what we're doing when we are in the thick of the action,

whether it's one-on-one,

10 bodies running, jumping and colliding, 

or when we are emotionally overwhelmed. 

review your game film. 

find what you have done right.

because you always find what you're looking for.

even if you are only looking at yourself.

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com