rethinking men's issues #8

my friend and i were sitting at the counter of a diner, waiting for breakfast, lamenting the lack of admirable people in the world.

news fatigue is real.

our phones are constantly force feeding us a steady diet of doomsday prophecies and immorality.

here's a headline you will never see: celebrity X paid their taxes in full AND on time.

where are the good people?

is anyone worthy of our admiration?

then the waitress brought our food.

a breakfast burrito and a breakfast sandwich, both with home fries and bottomless coffee.

side note: diner food is one of the great cuisines of the world, and that is a hill i will die on.

and there it was.

the friendly wait staff was working their asses off on a saturday morning for our comfort.

the flattop wizard in the back made sure our eggs were cheesy and the potatoes were seasoned.

the lobby was packed with patient diners waiting to support a deserving local business.

and before we knew it, with no help from our phones or social media, we were surrounded by people worthy of our admiration.

because you always find what you are looking for.

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com

rethinking men's issues #7

men, mental health isn't math. 

one plus one doesn't always equal two.

when it comes to thoughts and emotions, there are very few absolutes.

this is one of them.

you always find what you are looking for.

whether you are looking at someone, something, or yourself, you always find what you are looking for.

consider this: your team lost by 4 points. what are you looking for?

a. the coach sucks. the GM sucks. this team sucks. season over!

b. could the referees be any worse? not a single call went our way.

c. the other team was better. with a few lucky bounces, we could have pulled this one out.

d. i didn't go hungry. hot dogs always taste better at the park/stadium/fairway...

e. who cares about wins and losses? I spent the day with my friend/kid/dad/spouse...

f. i'm just here for the bobbleheads!!!

every one of these statements can be true. which one do you want to be true for you?

if you want to find a reason to be angry that a group of strangers lost a game, you can absolutely find a reason to be angry at the group of strangers.

if being angry at the group of strangers playing a game doesn't sound appealing to you, then look for another takeaway. 

think of it as an emotional souvenir, one that won't collect dust in your basement for the next 20 years.

win or lose, you always find what you are looking for.

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com