rethinking self esteem

recently a client told me he had an epiphany at work. he said he realized he was good at what he did.

I was equally encouraged and disheartened by his statement. 

i was encouraged because he reached a point we've worked so hard to get to.  

healthy self esteem is the foundation upon which all mental health is built. if you don't feel good about yourself, nothing else matters. 

but I was discouraged by his use of the word epiphany. 

epiphanies are big and exotic and rare. otherworldly revelations. 

they lead to things like the discovery of gravity or a cure for polio. 

feeling good about yourself should be the exact opposite of this. 

recognizing your strengths and positive qualities isn't a once-in-a-lifetime discovery. 

it is all day, every day. 

it should be as routine as putting on socks before shoes. 

you did something well. feel good about it. 

we need to normalize accepting that we are good. and good at doing things. and that we deserve credit for what we're good at.

you don't have to be the best to like yourself.

you don't have to be perfect to like yourself.

you don't have to be better than anyone to like yourself.

you just have to like what you do.

and like yourself.

every day. 

as many times as you want.

 

for information on individual therapy, contact me at bradleyjabel@gmail.com